Jagged Little Post

It is interesting how I keep finding my way to my abandoned on-line journal, as years pass in-between. On a platform that already belongs to the old days of the internet anyway. (I do keep a somewhat up-to-date one recently, according to new age, in an app, on my phone...) I'm feeling I'm getting old, the times a bit too fast for my tastes, there were many things I haven't adapted to, or clearly rejected out of my own opinion. Like facebook recently, which I have abandoned, for various personal reasons, but mostly because I just don't like social media. Never really did for that matter. In these days and age, it's not a wise choice, as it can be used for good and your own benefit, may it be getting right information or expressing yourself, but I just can't be bothered anymore, it's not for me, and it's just a decision I made. And truth to be told, no one really gives a fuck what I'm up to, and no one really should to be honest. We dwell way too much in each other's shit, privacy is kind of obliterated. I could use platforms to share, interesting, intellectual, thought-provoking or creative stuff, but alas, I lack all those skills. And there's the saying, if you can't say anything useful, well... If only more people would heed that advice. This old thing somehow makes me nostalgic, and just feels good to jot down some thoughts, only for myself.

So where is me now. At 31, and as usual, in love. As usual, unrequited. It was a rough year, but also exciting and filled with joy. I would do it all over again in a flash. So far it is good, if fate allows, we will stay friends. I live in the UK now, and if can keep it up, I plan to live and die here.

I'm listening to Jagged Little Pill, it was recently re-released for its 20th anniversary.
Age is really catching up to me. So many things behind me, nothing significant per se,
but still. I still don't know if I'm going anywhere, or where I'll end up. I just wonder. Whether I am that much different than the me you could see on these pages. Is there such a thing as a 'Final Form'?

I don't really have any goals, rather see what things interest me, which can vary by day,
and depend on my mood. Right now I'm just musing. Mostly on my past, and my future possibilities. Heh, I never was really active, that's true. And it seems I still have the talent to write about nothing with no end. There's something for everyone I guess.

I hope I'll be able to find some purpose, to feel useful and fulfilled one day.
Until then, I can always stop by, just to shoot the breeze with no one in particular.
In a certain light, it somehow still seems fun. Recreational. A bit of mental masturbation for my introvert side.

We'll see how it turns out. Time will tell after all.

I wish I could thank Alanis for what she's done. There just seem to be no direct way to contact an artist, and she's way too busy anyway, and probably billions done that in my place anyway.

Till next time.
  • Current Music
    Alanis Morissette - Forgiven

Some kind of update

So, what happened in the last 3 and a half years?
Nothing important really, I just left my job at home, and I live in the UK now,
which you could say is a pretty big thing for me.
For all the other things, I'm still struggling with everyday life,
or to find someone to be with, and it's starting to become a pain in the ass
because now I'm pushing 30. Adolescent years gone forever, so I guess
things will be just the same. I changed a lot through these days, learned some
invaluable lessons, still here, still going, but just as much clueless about how to go on.
I just...hope that someday, whenever it may be, I'll be able to be the person I want to be,
with the person I want to be with.
Until then...just general "living" goes on, I guess.
Feeling a bit lost, as always, and slowly but surely, I'm starting to give up.
So my moody little music from my gaming days, still playing,
and I'm still wondering, wandering.
  • Current Music
    Normand Corbeil - Painful Memories (Heavy Rain Soundtrack)

April 10.

Well, what to add to that last whiny entry? Nothing much.
Basically, I'm out of it. Love is gone, out the window. Finally. Lot less pain for me, ehehe :)

So, I'm fine, and I hope I'll be able to think and act like a grown-up in the future.

Other than that, watching a recent South Park episode about facebook made me wonder.

My first entry (which wasn't the first but a first in a while) on this blog was made on the 9th of June, 2003. Time really flew, I just did not notice. We didn't have a lot of online stuff we have right now and it is just funny. Gives me the creeps, hehe.

I'm having this silly feeling, looking back at the old me, all about games and animes, just finishing high-school without a thing to worry about. Good old times, now I say.

Now, even though almost everyone I knew left LJ by now, i'm still writing, when I feel like it. Just to let it out, even though I know no one ever reads them, but I don't really feel the need to be read anymore as well. Just the ability that I can write here once in a while makes me fine.

I just happend to be at a friend's place, we were supposed to play Heavy Rain, this huge hit in 2010 for the Playstation 3, but he passed out around midnight. So got myself a little lonely time, and usually when I'm like this, I start thinking. That's how the idea of posting came again.

Boring huh? :) Yeah, I know. Well, all I wanted was to shoot the breeze a little.

I checked out the latest Final Fantasy as well (the XIII-th) and even though it is astonishingly beautiful, it is not even near the 7th and the 8th. I don't even know if I want to complete it anymore.

So, only these things came to mind mind in this little lonley nighttime. And some other shit about life, my place in it, and everything.

If you need a lullaby, just close your eyes, and listen to Painful Memories, a touching piano theme from the Heavy Rain soundtrack. bye for now.
  • Current Music
    Painful Memories from the Heavy Rain Soundtrack

Rock Bottom

Well, that's a surprise. I abandoned this blog for quite some time. But maybe it'll become my secret place, since no one reads it anymore. I wrote here so long ago I even forgot all LJ/HTML tags I once known and I'm too lazy to check on them again. So I guess this means no more pictures here.

A lot happened. My pretty little usual boring life, turned upside down. I changed, a lot.

I used to love animes like a maniac. I only watch 'em once in a while now.
Also I used to be a hardcore game nerd. Not anymore it seems.
So many things happened, this year seemed like it was 5 years long.
I did so many stupid things. Made a lot of mistakes.

I've fallen in love with someone I thought I could never even be friends with. I felt so lucky. Those two months were the happiest moments of my life, ever. This kinda thing only happen to people once in a lifetime.

Now we're just friends again, but it's not the same as it was in the begininng. I'm still glad we're friends, cuz I almost lost this friend due to my mistakes. We both changed a bit I know. But I thought at least that we could be like when it all began. Before I started to have feelings. If I start acting like a normal guy, behaving good and all. So I started doing that, and I waited. Hoping for the best. But I slowly starting to lose my hope. I guess some things only happen in fairytales, and I shall start acting like a 25 year old, with some adult confidence I should've always had. If someone loses interest, that's usually permanent.

I wish I could turn back time. Ironic, that tomorrow we actually have to, we have to set our clocks back an hour because of the daylight saving time thing. I wish I could start this year over, with all the experience I now have. I've grown up too much in so little time. I just didn't know it's gonna be this painful.

I never felt so lonely...

I never knew I would regret acting like a fool so much. I never knew I could lose something so precious to me, because of my selfish and childish behaviour.

Well, no use crying over yesterday, as they say, so, we'll see what the future holds for me. But I just felt like writing this down. Helps along the healing process in some way. I hope so.
But if you look at it from another point-of-view, I didn't change at all. Just another whiny blog by me, instead of actually doing something for my happiness. I never was good at that part. Don't know if I ever will be.

It's just that I cannot let go. Not yet. Deep down inside, I'm still in love. I sacrificed everything of what I wanted. I'm just staying close, but at the same time, out of the way, so I won't become a burden. Hardest thing I ever tried to do, but so far I think I'm doing good. I'm still not needed as much as I'd like to be, but I guess that should've been obvious for me. So I keep on waiting. For as long as I can. It's all I can do.
  • Current Music
    .hack//G.U. Soundtrack - Gentle Hands (japanese version)

Summer's almost over

Well, alltogether that's good news (I hate the season), but this time I wanted to enjoy it as much as possibble, but I couldn't make it. Couting the three months, there were only two occasions I spent next to some lake or so. Maybe next year. I'm reading blogs of people who are taking trips around the world...Where the hell do they get the money. It's not like I want to do so as well, there are only 3 places I want to visit in my life anyway. Japan, America and London. Oh, well, maybe later. Knowing me, I don't know whether I'd go or not if I had the chance.

So let's see where I'm at:
Naruto: Reading the manga, I reached the point where Shikamaru is a Chuunin, Sasuke finally met Itachi, and Tsunade has become the 5th Hokage, but Orochimaru never gives up, sending the sound-nins after Sasuke. In the anime, the last battle takes place with Gaara, in his final form of Shukaku. Gamabunta is summoned to help as well. I reached the 4th op, the famous Fighting Dreamers by Flow, which is as popular (if not more popular) as Haruka Kanata was. Definetly better than the 3rd op. Ima made Nando mo by Mass Missle is the 5th ed, the second since they started using 2 endings during one 26 ep batch. So, it's ongoing.

Bleach: Still watching the ongoing filler, in the manga, I reached the end of the Soul Society arc, true colors have been revealed, and the Aizen-Tousen-Ichimaru trio left the place, to go to Hueco Mondo.

Code Geass: Recently started watching up to ep 6, Zero appeared, the cat chasing filler was hillarious. xD

Gundam Yes, the Gundam, the very 1st. With Amuro and co. I kinda like old style sci-fi, (or old-style in general) so this is good as well, although a bit slow. White Base just landed on earth on Zeon territory.

Gaming: I finished Soul Bubbles and Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo Tales 100 percently for the Nintendo DS, even though they had some flaws, they are good games, and I had much fun with 'em. I started playing with Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core, so far okay, but the stand-alone missions couldn't be more boring. I also started Silent Hill: Origins, the setting is good, but it's even more action-oriented then the 4th was. It shows that the makers aren't japanese anymore. (Or maybe it's just my imagination, I dunno.) Thank God, the music is the work of Akira Yamaoka again. I put this on hold, maybe will finish later.

If SCEE is right, on August 27th, the 80 GB PlayStation 3 with DualShock controllers is going to arrive on european shores. Finally...So I hope to find it under my television as my bday present for myself in September. ^^'

So, as parting words, enjoy the last days of your summer till you can.
See you at AutumnCon on September 27-28.
  • Current Music
    Alison Krauss - New Favorite


I had such a fun-filled weekend.
I was invited to spend my holidays at a friend's place down at Dömsöd.
They have a house there which was recently build so kinda new, and have acces to a small "pier", or something like that, and that means swimming finally :)

Although not everyone made it, eight of us turned up there. Good news were that even though we planned to stay only 1 day, it turned out to be a 3 day (2 nights) long stay, as originally decided. Also there were a couple, who were supposed to be at Balaton the next day, but they stayed with us instead.

So what happened? 1st day we tried to make shpagetti bolognese, but first we burned the meat, then after we mixed it with the pasta, and put it into the oven, we burned it again alltogether. So it tasted kinda special, but hey, we need carbon once in a while. xD
Then we did GUITAR HERO big time, and annoyed the girls with it. xD Later, we played a really weird card game called "rikiki" or something, but we enjoyed it very much. Although we planned to get drunk, we kinda failed. Later, when everyone went to sleep, we watched Grandma's Boy, a gamer-centric comedy on DVD, which was really hillarious.
Then I stayed up late playing Gitaroo Man, and swatting damn flies. (Couldn't sleep because of them...)

2nd day, one of us left, we woke up really late, but the good part came: THE GRILL. Although with the coal they had we couldn't make the fire big and hot enough, so when we found out that we're not grilling but steaming the meat, we got some wood to make it really burn. It ended up so tasty, yum! We also had weenies, plus we made jacket potato, which was so awsome, we had to make seconds. Later, we played cards again, but everyone was so tired (we went out to swim during the day. Bad exprience: Seems like I CANNOT swim, unlike I believed so. But they said I have a "Unicum-commercial" like face when soaked. xD), that we went to sleep early. Before that, we played a little StepMania, and of course, Guitar Hero, but through all day, occasionally. I got another room this time, no flies, just spiders, but they were harmless.

On the last day, we were woken up by some insurance guy, he had an appointment with our host, but he left quickly. Later, two of the guests left, so 5 of us remained. We had some cleaning to do, also we made lunch: instant-soup, which tasted kinda good, and pasta with cheese.
Later we went out to swim again, then my bro came and took me, and two guests who needed a ride home.

I had such a good time, I can't wait to go again, that place is so beautiful. The calm and silent area, the water, everything. I really needed to let off some steam, it was rellay great. ^^V


Oh, geez, It is such a shame how I kinda abandoned my LJ blog. ^^'
I'm sorry everyone who still read me.

Actually, mainly becuse of the buddies, I maintain three different blogs now.
Maintain, I mean, I'm trying.

The other two are the one on Deviant Art which I created because of some DA people I know who use that blog only. Of course, I still can't create anything you could call art :D. About the entries, they are often just funny things as well.

Now the 3rd blog of mine is the one on the 576 website, mainly game stuff goes there, anything game related, but lately, I posted some movie or DVD news as well. Oh and that is completely hungarian. ^^'

IRL, everything's fine, still solo, and enjoying it. Work's the same, I'm currently away, but only for two weeks. At home, Mom and I started a big clean-up mission, it's still...ongoing. xD Also, because of the Diablo 3 hype, I felt like playing again. I finished the original Diablo in 2 nights, and was surprised by the good storyline told during game and in the manual. (I couldn't understand english the first time I played it.)
Now I'm doing 2, I continued from the start of Act 2, I already finished the main game, now only Baal remains in the expansion pack.

So currently, animewise:
I've given up keeping up with ALL the new releases. I just don't have the time. I'll keep on reading darklightshine's journal, she knows the good stuff. I may also check in on one or two series but the unbelievable lack of my knowledge considering the older stuff are pissing me off. I have 5-6 series I got like ages ago, and haven't watched them since then.
Also there are those which like every good anime fan knows and I still didn't get a hold of them.
Some examples: Golden Boy, Wolf's Rain, Full Metal Panic, OHSHC, Mushishi, School Rumble, X, NANA (Oh my God, NANA...)
And the list goes on.

Otherwise, I'm watching the filler Bleach, and I really enjoy it, it's nice stuff, beats the crap out of that Bounto shit. I think the CHU-BURA opsingle should be out by now, but I can't seem to find it.

I'm also keeping up with Naruto, Jiraiya-sama just appeared, always peeking on the girls, and teaching Naruto as well. Also, the first hints about the history of Gaara were displayed, and I liked the scenes with the girls and Rock Lee as well. (Otherwise, yeah, kinda loooong wait before the main matches, and the Hyuuga story, which I already read in the manga. Awsome. ^^)
The 3rd op is so-so, obviously less good than Haruka Kanata, but it is not so bad, and is refreshing. (cuz I overlistened to HK a bit too much ^^') And I was surprised to hear an Orange Range song in the end. :) (Only one I knew so far is the 1st Bleach op) The chibies are cute as well :-D As I checked, this ending marks the moment when Studio P started to use 2 ending songs during one season (if you count 26 eps approximately as one season), and they're changing it around every 12 eps from now on. At least in the case of Bleach and Naruto.

Sailor Moon. Kinda had to stop there because of time issues, and also, the sub I chose only has the half of the SuperS season. Thank God another has the whole, PLUS they got their hand on the R2 DVDs, so they'll make a DVD quality sub of the first two seasons! Perfect. :3

Didn't have time for scanlations either. :( But I really wanna read Umino Chika more. T_T

As for printed manga, I got my hands on AirGear. I think it is beautifully drawn, well, with a LOT of fan-service, just a very-little-bit before crossing the line between service and hentai. But it's unbelievably funny and amusing. Mainstream stuff I know, but I enjoyed it so far up to voulme 4.

Considering gaming, I spent a lot on getting the Resident Evil (a.k.a. Biohazard) series for the GameCube, it's almost complete now. I'm also nearly finished the 3rd Phoenix Wright/Gyakuten Saiban, it's a really good last mission, and I'm in the role of Edgeworth.
I started Animal Crossing as well, but I don't have the time to maintain it daily.
Also, I was glad they announced the Chrono Trigger for the DS, although it's just a 1:1 port, and I can't wait for Final Fantasy IV DS to hit european stores.

As for Wii, nothing actual new stuff caught my eye. (I wouldn't have the money anyway.)
I saw trailers of the Naruto PS3, looks REALLY good. (Wish I had a PS3 though.)
For PC, BLIZZARD keeps them coming. Diablo 3, StarCraft 2, I really have to update my compy with some good stuff. Later of course. So expensive... Well, I'll have the time till these games arrive. Also good news, Nippon Ichi announced Rhapsody and Disgaea for the DS as well. I also think about getting the original Final Fantasy Tactics Advance for the GBA, but again, money. Geez, my collection habit is killing me. ^^'

So these are the ongoings, I hope you can bear the heat of summer better than I do.
Till next time. ^^V
  • Current Music
    Garry Schyman - Praan

Hinamizawa Misteries Solved

Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni Kai
When They Cry - Solutions

Kis időspórolásul linké áltoztattam a kis ikont, szal ha érdekel valami, egy klikk a képre és mehettek is infókat olvasni seiyuukról, miegyebekről, az ANN-re.
Ha valakiket külön kiemelnék mint seiyuu-t azt úgy is listázom. ^^

Mint pl. a most szinrelépett Hanyuu-t, aki Horie Yui. My love ever since Love Hina. <3

Többieket megtaláljátok korábbi Higurashi-s entry-ben.
Visszatérve, A Higurashi szépen kinőtte magát dojuin-game-ből. Gyakorlatilag már egy teljesen kifejlett multi-media franchise, mint kávzi a .hack, csak míg azt a Bandai nevű multimédia konszern lőtte fel, ezt pár rajongó...Szal érdekes.

A fő tudnivaló, hogy a Higurashi (imho) egy szerintem marha jól összerkaott, pszichológiai paráztatós horror, rengeteg sok rejtéllyel, felütéssel, plot-twisttel.
Ami viszont az általam ismert emberek közül rengeteget elriasztott, az az hogy a nyugalmas időket nyakonöntötték kawaii loli-fest-el, amit vagy bevesz valakinek a gyomra (tán még jobban is szereti), vagy nem. Mindenesetre pont ez a momentum emeli ki a Rika hangját adó Tamura Yukari-t, aki ugye felváltva beszl loli-ul, és az igazi karakterének hangján. (Amit most lelőnöm bazi nagy spoiler lenne. :-D)

A Kai szériáról spoilermentesen egyszerűen nem lehet írni.
Amit az előzőekben tapasztaltunk. Kisváros, gyerekek, lolik. Happy-go-lucky.
Aztán jön egy fesztivál, lemegy a ceremónia, és utána elkezdenek hullani szereplők, brutális, kegyetlen, változatosabbnál változatosabb módokon.
Véget ér egy chapter, restart. Az idő ugyanaz, szereplők változatlanok, mindenki készül a fesztiválra.

Hogy lehetséges ez? Álmodták? Meg sem történt? WÉTÉEF?
Nos, valamit már az első széria answer arcjai is kezdtek pedzegetni, de a konkrét megoldást, és az egészért felelős személyt ez a második arc leplezi le.

Én szeretem a I've sound kicsit techno-pop zenéjét, úgyhogy az innen szabadult Shimamiya Eiko-t is üdvözöltem opsinger visszatérőként. A háttérzene egyébként kellemes, a főtémájába egyenesen beleborzongok mai napig! Az ending sajnos most komorabb-szomorabb, nem annyira élvezetes, mint az első szezon engrish-el megáldott balladája. X3.Összességében mint horror-rajongó, engem teljesen jól kiszolgált a Higurashi, viszont akik inkább a komoly, akciódúsabb horrot, mint a Hellsing, vagy a Blood+ szériák kedvelik, azoknak ez kevés lesz. Ppersze van feszültség és gore, de ezt páran kevésnek találhatják, s míg erre várnak, a lolis vígjáték részek elidegeníthetik őket.

Szerintem midneképp éredemes tenni egy próbát az első szezon első chapterével. Ha az megfogott, szerintem végig is fogod nézni.
  • Current Music
    Napoleon Boulevard - Jelentés az alagútból